Doug Douglas Quincy McDonald Hortence Packrat Killarney Boucher was born a poor black child in 1837 in Innsmouth, Massachusetts. After his hometown was taken over by evil fish-men from the sea, Doug moved to Marion, Indiana. At age 8, he became white during a horrific series of events which led to his being locked in a cage for 7 months with Peter Graves, Lawrence Welk, and Richard Nixon.
Doug then moved to England, where he lived for a time in a dustbin in Shaftesbury, earning a meager living giving bass lessons to The Who's John Entwistle. After moving back to Marion, he responded to an advert seeking "anyone who happens to own a bass guitar" and joined Surrender Dorothy. He left for a time to operate his own chili restaurant in Cincinnati, Ohio. But after being declared a public health hazard by the Environmental Protection Agency, Doug's Chili came to a sad end, and he crawled back to Dorothy, who said "Oh well, let's have pity on the poor sap and put up with his bass playing again." Make sure to catch Doug's "Exploding Bass Guitar" solo onstage each night, wherein he lathers his Fender Precision with the leftovers of his former chili business and sets the night ablaze.
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